Thursday, August 20, 2015

Every Mask Casts a Shadow

There is a room,
and in this room there is a door.
this door is covered with serpents, scorpions, and spiders alike.


Behind this fortified location is what the enemy doesn’t want me to have.
What stands behind the door is a dream, a hope.


It’s what I’ve set aside for a moment in an attempt to be more mature,
and it’s been enveloped, it’s been stolen, a thing once seen, something thought lost.


There is a pain ripping down the avenues of the my soul,
a pain that could instantly initiate a civil war between the crushers in white.
A brewing anger that fuels these fingers through my palms.
A distaste that burns in every cluster, in every fiber, of every ridge of these legs.
And yet, all i perceive i can do is lie still.


It’s something like having each extremity chained and forming a perpendicular intersection
and feeling the subtle vibration of one varment beginning the trek to your soul,
to an ocean of a hundred scampering over every link that i’ve built in my mind.


But it’s enough.


You see, there really is no tumultuous vault.
Behind the door, lining the walls are only mirrors,
glaring reflections of what i’ve allowed the settling fog to cloak me in.
Every word that henceforth proceeds from my mouth
is like a beam of light penetrating the thickening soup


I’ve veiled myself too many times in the hope that i was protecting
when in actuality i was only driving the stake deeper.
There’s no more room for dualities.  There is no more time for an assembling of the court.
There is no more energy to trap what i’ve known all along.


Every step i’ve made this far i’ll surrender for the return of that hope,
but this time, there is a fire that burns more furious than the last.
This time, there is no pulling punches.  This time, there is only space
for the mud, blood, sweat, and tears to pass between my hand and my spear.

The Current State of Affairs

The dance of time has consumed the things I once knew,
there’s never been a time I’ve been more secure,
and yet, there’s never been a time where I’ve lost so much
of the things I’ve come to know.

The voice that was being defined has been shadowed,
even now i lack the words to say.

Along the way I’ve lost the simplicities of joy,
the over complication of the do’s and don’t’s,
The endless numbers, the fortifying fears,
All these things, they cripple the ferocity I was knew.

I’ve known my mind to be the epicenter
of vision, thought, word play, passion.
It’s become clouded with the voices of others,
and ironically the voice of my own.
How treasonous.

Even now, they creep in.  
The lectures, the opinions, the rationales
everything that sounds swimmingly sane,
they’re the very things that have put so much
time between then and now.

What would it be to lose it all?
To start afresh.  For the very wind of God to
grab everything that is in front of me and spin it
to another realm? Would I even be able
to open the spheres of perception to grasp it?

What a battle that ensues,
between what is real and what is desired.